Sex, a word, a taboo that many people aren’t even comfortable talking about. I agree to disagree though because I feel it is important to talk about sex. It is important to talk about it because it opens up so many opportunities. Not only do you get to know more on the subject, but you also get to know about the consequences as well.
I was not someone who grew up talking about sex. Well, quite the opposite. Growing up in a conservative Indian family, I knew not to mess around with this topic. But, as I grew and as my exposure to the Internet evolved, I started knowing more about it.
And, boy, was I intrigued. People say that your teenage phase is the one where you explore. I did too, and when someone asks me if I regret it now, I would say that I don’t. I was so charged and pumped up sexually during those years that I know what not to do now. I feel thankful. The other thing, apart from sex, that I like is having an open relationship.
You might think, “Has this person gone crazy?” Well, I haven’t!
What is an open relationship?
Before anything, I would like to clear up the concept of open relationships because that is something that many people struggle with.
Many people think that open relationships and friends with benefits are the same things. It technically isn’t. They might be similar in some grounds, but not all.
Open relationships are when people aren’t exclusively with each other. They do engage in physical intimacy, go out on dates and even spend time together but don’t have a label to their relationship.
What this means, in terms of sex, is the fact that any of the partners can go out with other people as well. Given that there aren’t many boundaries; chances are that the same enhances the quality of sex you have.
Why is it so favourable?
To be very clear, I am not here trying to persuade people to get into open relationships. This is dependent on people and their preferences.
I have loved being in open relationships and being open to exploring sex from multiple people. I have experience and explored things that I wouldn’t have if I was in a proper exclusive relationship. Here’s how you explore you sexuality.
That is one of the reasons why I do advocate doing it if you find someone with a similar mindset as yours.
That is important. Having someone with a similar mindset.
If you are here wondering why I had such amazing sex while in an open relationship, I’ll sort out some pointers for you.
Let us take a look at some of them, shall we?
Explore better with more people
You wouldn’t know what kind of things you like in bed unless you explore them. I am not saying that being in an exclusive relationship won’t get you that but I just feel open relationships bring forth better options.
I have met so many people through my partner that I have lost count. This is one of the reasons why I could experience what I did.
I wouldn’t say that I started having sex with many people while in an open relationship though. When I first started, even I was a bit skeptical.
Why? Because I wasn’t educated enough to think that something like this was possible.
I always thought that if you are with someone and having sex with someone else, it categorized as cheating.
Now that I have met people and been in many open relationships, I know that is not the case.
Better kink exploration
Much like other people, even I didn’t know what kind of sex I was into until I went out and explored it.
I did have a bit of an idea about kinks and fetishes, but boy, I was amazed. I didn’t even realize I was into so many things until I did it practically.
I think open relationships helped me with this even more because I have been with multiple people. If I was exclusive with someone, I couldn’t possibly be sure that the same person would be okay with trying different things.
But, then again, I could have been lucky with the partners I hooked up with. It is thus always best to discuss and then proceed.
Kinks and fetishes are something we are so less educated about. Trust me, it isn’t just vanilla that pleases you; you need to take up new things to spice things up in your bedroom. That is a given.
No emotional baggage
Before I started with open relationships, I have been in one or two exclusive relationships too.
They didn’t work out for me. Mainly because I was tired with the emotional baggage that it came with.
Every day I would have my partner come up with a new thing to fight about. I was literally at my wit’s end.
But, with open relationships, I have found that the same come down by a lot. I was very surprised, to be honest. Yes, I still do have fights with the person I am in an open relationship with, but not that often.
Given that we have the same kind of thought process and knowledge of where our relationship stands, we know where to draw the line.
Less emotional baggage further reflected on better sex as well. This is not just with the other people I occasionally hook up with but also with my partner as well.
We know what we want and that is shown in the bedroom as well. This isn’t a “no strings attached” affair though. Mainly because I care about my partner and I know that do too. It isn’t just about hooking up.
It includes sharing emotional space, but giving each other the benefit of the doubt and the much-needed space to explore around as well.
How would you know?
As I did mention before, I didn’t jump into open relationships right off the bat.
I grew into it and now that is all I know of. It does bring along amazing sex, but that shouldn’t be the only criteria that get you into an open relationship. You need to assess some accessory things too.
To help you know if open relationships are meant for you or not, I can suggest some tips.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Interested in non-monogamy:
Now, this is the first signal. If you have heard of polyamorous relationships and that is something that interests you, chances are that you will definitely like being in open relationships.
If you and your partner have talked about non-monogamy, try and opt to take a chance. But, some things could go wrong.
It should be both sided. If you “feel” your partner is okay, but then turns out they aren’t, chances are that you will end up cheating on them. Open relationships aren’t about that.
This is why it is necessary to talk to your partner.
You have an honest relationship
When you have an honest relationship, you know that your partner won’t be too scarring. What I mean is that when you talk to your partner about being in an open relationship, they will understand.
Building a relationship based on honesty does play a crucial role in this. You need to be able to communicate well with your partner.
That is a given. If you are looking for an open relationship but your partner isn’t, you either to be break up or compromise.
The ball is in your court.
You aren’t into commitments:
Open relationships do seek commitments, don’t get me wrong. But, it isn’t that stringent like in exclusive relationships.
If you are someone who isn’t that thrilled with the concept of commitments, chances are that open relationships could be a good transition.
When I started with open relationships, I struggled. I was not into commitments that much, but the fact that my partner was going out with someone was a bit unsettling.
But, the more time passed, the better it got.
This is what I am telling. It is never going to be easy. You need to work through it. Talk to your partner or get together with someone who has been in open relationships.
Is it worth it?
For someone who loves sex and loves being nurtured by their partner at the same time, I would say it’s amazing.
I am living my life and having the best sex I could imagine. I don’t have many struggles in the bedroom and not in my mind too. I have my priorities sorted because I have someone who is on the same page as me.
If you want to enjoy good sex and at the same time, get going with the experience of being in an open relationship, I would suggest you go for it.