In modern society, the relationship is one of the most complicated subjects. The high rate of failure of traditional relationships is making way for a new type of relationship. The open relationship is one such fast-evolving dimension of relationship. If you are new to the idea of an open relationship, then you must be very cautious before you venture to explore it. People jump to explore the open relationship, but they soon find that is far more complicated than the normal monogamous relationship, as several traditions defying factors comes into play.
Your experiment with the open relationship might not have worked, but it doesn’t mean open it doesn’t work. The best thing about open relationship is the transparency and mutual agreement on the ground rule to take the relationship forward. Practicality is the key to the success of the open relationship. It revolves around the theme of self-protectiveness and protectiveness of your partner. The core theme behind the basic rules is to prevent emotional reactions linked with jealousy.
It all begins with a common understanding of the open relationship. This helps in eliminating the role of hyper expectations and mistakes. The definition is pretty simple, as the word “open” implies the freedom to seek pleasure outside the ongoing relationship. There should be a common understanding so that mutual agreements could be drawn.
The open relationship is all about dynamism and freedom. So, rules might evolve and take a new shape with time, but some ground rule helps you start the journey on a sweet note. Here are some of the tips to define an open relationship rule so that you could enjoy the thrill ride:
- Set Sex Rules:
The open relationship is focused on the central theme of having the freedom to explore opportunities for physical intimacy. So, you need to define sex-rules first. You have to agree whether it is open for sex or not. If yes, then define what type of sex is permissible with other people. There is no room of ethics and inhibition here. Just make it clear whether it is penetrative, oral or just kissing. What is the loom of flexibility in exploring new things?
Of course, you need to define the rule of safe-sex practices. It is better to talk about precautions, screening, and other practices in advance. The whole idea is to have openness in communication so that all issues could be resolved.
- Rules for Emotions
You are in an open relationship defying several social boundaries. Your expectation from your partner should not be the normal and socially acceptable behavioral responses. Be open about the expectations and try to simplify using good communication skill. Frankly, people agree to be emotionally neutral while in the open relationship, but when the time comes all emotion finds its way through the mouth. It is better to define what emotional and social behaviors are acceptable to both partners. Emotion is a very dynamic space, so try to be flexible to enjoy the open relationship.
- Finding Suitable Partner:
The rule is simple, even freedom has its reasonable restriction clause. Openness in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are open for all anytime anywhere. You and your partner must reach common ground about the suitability of other partners. You have to define the boundary of maneuverability among known or unknown because you or your partner might have a different opinion about comfort. You feel competitive and jealous in known circles, so try to draw a fine line of balance. You need to discuss the relationship status of the other partner as well because this creates a moral hazard.
- Time and Schedule
Most of the open relationships hit the make or break phase because of this time and schedule factor. The best strategy is to have a plan in advance about how much of the time and at what frequency you both need to meet to have a healthy open relationship. One common point of friction in an open relationship is the exploration time required to find other partners. Here, the rules need to be properly defined as this misguided prioritization could bring unnecessary heat into the ongoing relationship. It is better if you could agree on a time to be allocated for other partners.
It is very natural to be obsessive about something new and react accordingly. There is nothing wrong in that, it requires just a smart adjustment. Communication is the key here. You have to be fairly open about your new date and time compulsions.
- Experience Sharing Limit:
Some of the things are pretty obvious, requiring no elaboration. The open relationship status doesn’t give you the freedom to share precious moments in the minutest details. Your partner might not like it. This makes him or her feel jealous. The best strategy in an open relationship is to have “don’t ask and don’t tell policy”. It is in contradiction to the transparency aspect of the relationship, but you have to find what not to tell. Those talks of steamy moments spent with another partner could kill the vibrancy of your ongoing relationship. It is animal instinct, it is natural and you will face the fiercest reaction if not verbal then emotional. There is no hardcore linguistic formula, you have to play according to the situation.
- Life Beyond Sex:
You are in an open relationship to have the freedom to explore new opportunities for physical and emotional intimacy. But several things are beyond the physical needs. These things help you redefine openness in the relationship and explore a new horizon. The best strategy here is to have respect for each others’ need and emotions and play the game accordingly.
Openness is all about flexibility, you simply can’t be rigid in your approach while in an open relationship. Be open to accept anything related to your partner and plan tour next move accordingly. The fundamental of the game is simple, be honest and transparent to get maximum pleasure in the purest form. Live life full size!