A pinch of salt as a fondness is very important in every relationship to keep it alive. The monotonous activities in a relationship make it below par. With the acceptance of various cultures, in recent times every relationship needs something unusual.
Open relationships are a form of multi partnerships which goes through economic, social, political and philosophical options to regular life. It is a way of life. This doesn’t mean that you are going to have a long-sex or marathon fucking or a game in which sexual partners counting are the points. A responsible open relationship is an expression of true desires of your inner self and a calling in both partners soul.
The typical definition of Open relationship
One of those experiments is open-relationship, with the consent of both partners. This is for the good of both as well as their relationship. The traditional definition according to Lano & Perry in Breaking the Barriers to Desire: New Approaches to Multiple Relationships
“Open- relationship means a non-monogamous lifestyle or arrangement in which all partners concerned is aware of and consent to the form of relationship.”
Either a one-night stand or a non-committal relationship has been in the life of every individual. One cannot deny this, as the aspects of need and wants continuously changes in life. There is no relation to how monogamous relation has been with their partner. It may for a small-time but the presence of these flings is always there with everyone. Some of us have been sceptical about the idea of a new relationship, but still, it is significant and worth pursuing. When someone is not in a satisfactory relationship, they crave for a new one until they find what they are looking for. The desire to be with more than one partner always lights up in the mind of an individual. This is a credible example of open-relationship, which anyone who is in dilemma can think of. For instance, after a long term relationship everyone craves for shorter relationships or flings but nothing too content and intensified.
Misconceptions:
- Open relationship meant just about open sex.This is one of the most important misconceptions most people think off. Do many people misunderstand what you mean by open? Sex is the easy part, though there are a thousand ways to love someone. Cuddling, holding, listening, love-letters, the exchange of inspiration and many more are the multitudes by which one can be creatively loved or beloved, this separates you from the normal. An open relationship has very minimum to do with sex and maximum to do with honesty, consent, consequences, letting go of the possessiveness, being a support structure for someone, and communicative throughout.
- The issue of commitment is another misconception for those who are new to open-relationship. The responsible open relationship needs true sense to a commitment to the future and all the relationships which may carry out. The individuals who are into open relationship are not generally swingers looking for easy sex or the relationships with no strings attached. Moreover, open- relationships work only with the consent of all parties which are involved in committing to communication, honesty, hard work, and patience. Those who are not in open-relationship or being in live-in are simply interested in a deep commitment with a more serious relationship with more than one person whether it may be primary, friend, lover or pen pal.
Friendship will be ruin by the intimacy or sex, one of the major misconceptions which dishearten quite a lot. Friendship needs a good foundation of trust and communication with each other. If these are not present in any relationship then it will haunt much. Being a friend after a break-up is important as both of the partners know mutually that they will need them emotionally.
Pros:
- Being Monogamous is not important:
The individual who does not believe in monogamy or have failed in a past relationship, either way, they simply don’t believe in monogamy, but yet they want to be in a meaningful relationship simultaneously having it for a long time. They choose an open relationship. Those people keep the two worlds together by being in a meaningful relationship as well as fulfilling their desires. Being normal or monotonous in life is quite a different thing; this life is only the one you got so live it at its fullest.
- Being honest about your romantic desires
It grants you and your partner the freedom to chase other people in a mutually respectful way, with open communication and with total honesty, these make open relationship appealing. This also meant that while having a strong attachment and feelings with your mate, you are always ready to fulfil your other needs met with various people. This is all while being truthful, honest, and open with each other.
- FOMO is gone:
The excitement, thrill, and adventure are simply refreshing and important in an open relationship. For example, if your partner cannot be able to fill the void, without which you feel despair, that can be cured in this type of relationship. Whether that void is physical or emotional, an open relationship lets you follow other options while keeping a deep bond that you have created with your partner.
Cons
- Jealousy is a big issue:
Though an open relationship is based on honesty, trust, and respect, it may be very difficult not to develop jealousy. While the people who are in an open relationship are quite intimated and threatened by the various people, your partner may pursue. The core attitude and thinking of even a monogamous couple are sometimes through being jealous. So in this type of relationship, it is quite normal to be jealous as it is the very nature of people.
- Not a quick fix for failing relationship:
The thinking that failing connection can be repaired by being in this type of relationship is very wrong. This is a wrong approach, as letting the weak connection open is letting it destroy all the things. The basic criterion should be to have a firm foundation in a relationship, and then the only open relationship can be helpful. Otherwise letting down your shield can bring your relationship to an end you did not notice at all.
- Vulnerability is a big constraint on both fronts physically or emotionally:
The emotional health, as well as physical health, can be affected at times for those who are in open relationship. These are some major concerns which need great attention. For example, if you are depending upon your partner to make the right choices and be physically safe and sound, there’s also a chance that he/she can develop serious attachment for someone else. And when they leave you for them, it will leave you feeling emotionally unsupported and shattered.
Sense of questions should be asked to each other in any relationship:
The idea of veto power in any relationship is not viable as it does not honour the needs of other partners. It also makes a way for emotional damage in our mind. The mutual agreement of any type in a relationship enables us to that whom we are engaging with are also human beings with emotions, needs and wants that deserve a place in life.
These should not act as a “contract”, meant as a binding term between any couple. The essence of an open relationship is the absence of unethical practices without consent. This agreement acts as a soft landing accessory which prevents you from getting into an accident.
These are the following questions should be in consideration before getting into an open-relationship:
- Exploring open love together, separately or both is ok with you or not?
- Which type of experiences excites or thrills you? What kinds generate fear and eagerness?
- At what extent there is a line, which you don’t want to cross? What is the deal breaker scenario?
- Ideal relationship for both of you?
- What are your both extent for sexual safety?
- What do you need for emotional safety?
- Accessibility to your partners when they are with others?
- What will be the sleeping and overnights arrangement process
- How does your home fit into your vision?
- Ways to incorporate children if you have?
- What are the qualities you look for in your new partners?
- How would you define your status in a relationship?
- What communication strategy will you use to keep frank and healthy conversation to your partner?
Being in an open relationship is a call to be taken with much seriousness as this will take a lot of effort. Both partners should be compatible on all fronts. Lack in any of the issues or a bit of insecurity can cause a lot of damage. The foremost thing in any relationship is to adjudge and feel the emotions. For a newbie who just wants to experience for the sake of being cool is not at all preferable. Every individual should take a serious call towards this approach.
This article only shows the major aspects and the nutshell description of open-relationship. There is much more about open- relationship. You have to be more concerned about your relationship and even more towards your partner.
